First off: Pink! Pink is every girl’s favorite color, and there are tons of ways to incorporate it easily into your group’s meetups. This is probably one of the single most important ways to draw the attention of women passing by, so don’t forget to use it. If we see enough pink, we’ll stop the car. Okay, now there are lots of ways to use pink. Doilies are a traditional favorite. Desserts–there’s a lot of sugary sweet things, which women also love! Let’s see… Oh, promotional materials! You can rebrand yourself pinker. Flyers: Flyers can be printed on pink, scented paper. How easy is that? But always be aware of the fact that mauve is not pink. We know the difference; don’t fuck with us.
Second: Ponies! Big ponies, little ponies, fat ponies, ponies that people forgot to feed, cartoon ponies, men that like to ride ponies, men that are half pony. Ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies. We just love the shit out of ponies. Consider running one of those pony rings where ponies are attached to long metal poles and forced to walk idly in circles for hours. Usually, women are more sympathetic to the plight of unhappy, subjugated animals, but if it brings us closer to ponies, all bets are off.
Finally, scrapbooking. It’s very important to understand the differences in the ways that men and women take notes. Men typically take notes on college- or wide-ruled paper, sometimes in notebooks, sometimes legal pads, and generally, they’ll start by selecting a descriptive heading and then organizing the information in a hierarchy underneath it, to present it clearly and logically. Women will use square sheets of thick, colored paper, to which they affix stickers and photos, random thin memorabilia, glitter, that sort of thing. And the header is just always “Memories.” So one of the best ways that you can encourage note-taking for women in your group is to provide scrapbooking supplies. Just be aware of the fact that you’re going to have to get some big donors, because that shit is not cheap.
As an alternative to these measures, you can treat women like unique individuals whose desires and aspirations can’t be pinned down by their gender.
